What’s that saying? “If things seem to good then it probably is.”? Zoren was able to pick up that the innkeeper of the Azure Iris was practically giving away the rooms for a song. But at the time it was hardly worth concerning about. That was, until, the shadowy assailants
in the night attacked the party as they slept. Luckily they managed to awaken just as the assassins made their move. Rose, alone in her own room, faced a single foe while the boys, paired in their rooms, faced a foe each as well. Questions concerning who they were, how they got in the rooms, and why they were trying to kill the party would have to wait until the whole stopping them from succeeding plan went into effect. Sheldon and Zoren were able to evade their attackers and draw them outside. Sheldon, however, was not actually Sheldon, but was being manipulated by Sheldon’s devil passenger who was quickly drawing forth dark magic to deal with the intruders. Moo and Matty however were having a little more difficult with their opponents as Matty had spent a good portion of the night getting piss drunk beforehand. In his defense he probably didn’t assume he’d wake up to a fight… never mind. It’s Matty nine fingers. He has no excuse…
Eventually the opponents were dealt with. Their shadowy forms appeared to be magical in nature and their true identities of Shadarkai revealed. However as they were defeated each simply vanished in a wiff of dark smoke. Zoren, trying to give his best guess on the matter,
suggesting that perhaps they were pre-enchanted with a spell that would teleport them somewhere when downed. Meanwhile several of the other guests had emerged into the hallway to complain about the noise (or perhaps just upset that their rooms didn’t come with Evil Shadow
Ninjas too). Sheldon’s devil, not one to squabble with beings of no importance, floated the teenage vessel over to the nearest patron and calmly and horrifically told him “YoU SaW nOtHinG!” which the patron quickly agreed with and shut his door. Another pesky patron wasn’t so
easily bullied and stood up to the devil, most likely because he had a shouting match with a devil over housing contracts earlier during his work day. Sheldon’s devil, not being the polite conversationalist, promptly attacked the patron. It missed (perhaps on purpose) but the effect was of course the same and the patron fled to the safety of his room, Rose managing to close the door before Sheldon could un-miss.
Quickly the inn was invaded by the local guards. An organization known as the Harmonium. Zoren did his very best to convince the guards that they were the victims of the attack, but Matty Nine-Fingers didn’t help matters by being covered in blood and bed feathers, and shouting
insults over Zoren’s head at the watch. Luckily a very attractive half elf named Verden came to Zoren’s rescue and vouched for them, making the “Hardheads” leave grudgingly. Verden spilled the beans that the normally 40g a night rooms had been given to them for a song, and that
she had even been compensated to come to their aid against the Harmonium. However she kept her lips…oh those luscious lips I could just..um.. sorry… kept her lips tight about who this mysterious benefactor was. Rose, however, had a strong hunch that it might be the
supposed owner of the Fortune’s Wheel. Shemeshka the fiend. Matty meanwhile had to find other sleeping arrangements and somehow ended up sleeping curled up next to Moo who had made a nest for himself inside what remained of their room.
A few hours later dawn broke and the party ventured out. Matty managed to secure a date with Verden later in the afternoon (as compensation for the disturbance during the night) and the party quickly set out to leave and find more fitting accommodations. Ahem.. cheaper. On their
way out a Tiefling male by the name of Laris approached them and invited them to sit with his mistress Shemeshka. Rose, not wanting to deal with a fiend, convinced the party to walk away, despite Laris’ promises of a legitimate business proposal and the likelihood that he
would suffer his lady’s wrath if he didn’t succeed in bringing them. Leaving Laris to his fate the party ventured into the nearby Lower Ward, a section of town dominated by the giant foundry that continually pumped out the breath straining smog that was very thick in this area. Finding a bulletin board the party found an odd request for help.
Off Sigil delivery needed.
Inquire at listed address.
Payment in advance.
What do you mean that’s a stupid idea?
We should trust people.
Payment upon completion.
Noticing the time Matty ran off for his date. The rest set about finding more about the notice. Tracking down the address the party found the supposed location to be an abandoned clerk’s shop. After knocking a voice from inside permitted entrance. The door was unlocked and inside the group found what seemed to be no one at home. However the voice continued from the back of the room near a desk. A small gray cat jumped onto the table and introduced itself. But not so much
in the typical rub up against you way that a cat does but as in it said “Hi. I’m Jysson.”. The voice however actually belonged to a book (as if the day couldn’t get any stranger). A magical accounting ledger in fact. Together the two told the party of how Jysson was once the
human clerk of this shop but maybe ten years ago he died. He awoke as a cat in the fabled Beastlands with no memory of his past life. When his mistress the Cat Lord instructed him to take a message to Sigil he obeyed. But finding this alleyway of shops he felt compelled to enter
this shop in particular. There he met the book who explained to him who he once was and that he was quite overdue on payment to the creator of the ledger, a Heiron Lifegiver who resides in the gatetown Automata. Anyone who read that without thinking someone is nuts probably needs to see a doctor himself.
The book promised the group the 738 gold (exactly) that Jysson had hidden away AND the contract to the shop should they return the book to Heiron. Jysson, happy enough to be a cat, said he had no more use for the money or the house (which he doesn’t remember ever owning anyway) and agreed to accompany them long enough to deliver the book and apologize in person to Heiron for the lateness.
Using a portal key of two even halves of a piece of paper with an E printed on each side (expertly added by Sheldon and his amazing calligraphy skills) the party passed through a butcher’s shop and appeared on the most perfect and right angled street surely in
existence. Automata, being the gate town to the plane of Mechanus was about as ordered as it could get. Houses were all in the same construction style, the roads evenly paved. Even the people seemed at peace walking in formation and wearing the same clothing as each other. Zoren took a moment to screw with the locals by adding a bit of mild chaos to the mix. One local would later decide he desperately needed a vacation (which, let’s face it, would probably be to some
candle making factory).
The local watch quickly took notice of the conspicuous party and demanded they register at the Office of Visiting Entities. Not interested in getting on the wrong side of the law the party did just that. I will of course omit any major details about the three long and boring hour wait that followed while they got their papers together. Finally the group was able to track down the books creator by seeking his last known address. However, when they arrived they found a candle
shop instead. The owner of the shop kindly informed them that Heiron had sold him the place about five years ago. But if he was still in the area that he might still frequent his favorite tavern, The Divine Machine down the street. At the Divine Machine (A tavern built for
Halflings but catering to a much larger clientele) the owner claimed that he hadn’t seen Heiron in years. He just knew that Heiron had had some dealings with some very shady underworld types. Leaving the tavern, the party was approached by a female tiefling who demanded to know what the party would be doing with the book. When Rose told her the truth, she nodded and claimed to have the information they needed to find Heiron.
Arriving at the Council of Order building, where Heiron was supposedly hiding in a closet, the party made their way in attempting to blend in as much as possible with Sheldon leading the way with a stack of papers. However an inquisitive clerk halted them and demanded to know where Sheldon was headed. Sheldon delayed just long enough for Rose to distract the clerk with something he was sure to find interest in. Giving directions. While the clerk was distracted, Sheldon and Zoren made their way to the supply closet. Entering the two teens gave the
secret knock and whistle to the back wall. Suddenly a crack of light appeared on the wall and eventually it opened wide to reveal a doorway and a hunched over old man peering from within. Seeing the two unfamiliar kids he attempted to shut the door again, but when his book was mentioned he once again peered out cautiously. Seeing the book once again brought a smile to his face and he invited the teens in for tea.
And they were never seen again. The end.
Inside Heiron got the boys some water (as per request) and thanked them for bringing back his book. Jysson also took the time to apologize for the lateness on returning the book and Heiron could only agree that death was as good an excuse as any. Feeling generous, Heiron noticed Sheldon’s interest in books and handed him one from his collection. Sheldon was very happy. Probably had to cross his legs. Meanwhile outside the clerk was already trying to explain the “very simple” directions to Rose for a third time which she was purposefully getting wrong to keep him busy. However as they conversed a new group of mean looking individuals stormed past towards the direction of the closet. Before they could be stopped the leader swung open the door, cast a spell, and suddenly Heiron, Zoren, Sheldon, Jysson and the book came riding out on a tide of books and personal trinkets from Heiron’s now defunct magical mansion. The leader pointed to Heiron and shouted “Take the old man. Kill the rest.”
Once again the job just seemed too easy.
XP for all present
(Please remember that you also got a bonus 250 to bring you to level 2
before the start of the game)
A 3rd edition copy of “396 Uses For a Curved Line.”